If I told you that 3 words could ruin your life, would you believe me?
The Bible tells us that our tongues have the power of life and death in them (Proverbs 18:21), but sometimes we feel way more quoting that quote than actually believing it.
But I’ve witnessed over the course of my life and others that it’s SO true. And these 3 words cause death, not life.
We have to stop using these 3 words. They are ruining us. They are keeping us ignorant. It’s time that we move on.
So here are those 3 words you’ve all been waiting to hear:
“I just assumed.”
In hindsight, you may be thinking, “Well aren’t you being a little over dramatic? Those are the worst 3 words you could think of?”
But I believe whole-heartily that this phrase is the most damaging phrase we can believe in.
When we assume something, we destroy any other possibility. This, my friend, is so, SO dangerous. This is the reason that this phrase is so damaging to our hearts and to the other hearts around us.
Assumptions are a dangerous beast. More often than not, they get us into a messy place that could’ve been avoided all together if we’d left them out.
Judah Smith writes something along the same lines in one of my favorite books “How’s Your Soul?”.
He talks about how 1 Corinthians 13 (which is the love chapter) talks about what love is. One of the statements it includes is, “love believes all things” (read more about this statement in an older blog post here). He sums up this phrase by saying that it means a phrase we should implement into our daily lives is: “He/she didn’t mean it.”
When we live this radical statement out, we take away those 3 dangerous words. We can’t assume that she meant it, because there are no facts. And until we are presented with those facts, we have to believe that she didn’t mean it.
Maybe it looked like she meant it, sounded like she meant it, etc., but no assumptions can be made. Maybe she had a bad morning? Maybe she thought she was being funny and trying to impress others? Maybe she was feeling insecure?
This is when the doubters step in and start yelling, “MARIAH I CAN ASSUME BECAUSE ALL THE FACTS ARE THERE THAT SHE DID MEAN IT!”
And that’s where I love what Judah says: “Absolutely they meant it! You think… Where does the desire to defend ourselves and justify ourselves and protect ourselves come from? In reality, it’s a lack of God Awareness. Is God God or not? Do we trust Him to take care of us or not?
Ultimately we either choose to let God be God, or we take it upon ourselves to right every wrong and defend every injustice. That’s impossible, though, just FYI. We aren’t capable of sorting through the motivations of our own hearts half the time, much less those of others…”
When we assume, we jump to conclusions. Most of the time, those conclusions favor what would be best for us. It would be best for us if we assumed they hated us so we could talk behind their backs. It would be best for us if we found out they lied to us so that we can get revenge on them. You get the point. Most of our assumptions are negative and make us the victim.
But when we live in a way where we don’t assume the worst, we give God the opportunity to do a couple things:
- Work on our hearts. This is huge when you live like this. It’s a totally new concept to your life that takes major effort and goes against some major push back from the flesh. When you let God come in, make you uncomfortable and ask Him to help you not assume, He does something amazing in you from the inside out.
- Work on the hearts of others. You can’t live like this and not impact those around you. It just simply doesn’t work. When you take out those negative assumptions, others notice. They notice that you don’t start or continue unnecessary drama, but you end it at the decision not to assume. Talk about some conviction.
- Give God permission to fight on our behalf. Like Judah said, when we assume the worst and take it into our own hands, we mask the sovereignty of our Father who wants to protect us. We make it so that we aren’t able to see that side of Him. Often times we wonder why God didn’t protect us, but I believe it’s because we protected ourselves in what we thought was the best way possible, when He wanted to show us His protective side.
We’ve got to lay down our swords and stop assuming things. Catch yourself every time you assume something and ask the Lord to help you think, “nah, I’m sure they didn’t mean it”. I promise He’ll show you something you would’ve never seen before.
Get rid of those 3 words.