Single on Valentines? Read this.

Valentine’s Day.

You either love it or hate it. You’re either so over the top excited to celebrate or you want to pop every heart shaped balloon in every direction.

It’s probably the most emotion filled day of the year. Not just because of all the lovey dovey stuff, but all of the sad and angry emotions that also comes with the territory. Some people really despise February 14th.

Whatever your thoughts are about the day, it’s hard to ignore the fact that it’s a day that revolves around love. The idea of love, the action of love, and words of love.

This isn’t my first rodeo (to say the least). I’ve lived out plenty of single Valentines days. It’s never been a hard day for me as I am a hopeless romantic and love days focused on love, but for some it’s very hard.

It can be a reminder of what you don’t have. A reminder of what you feel like you’re missing out on. And that can be TOUGH.

I’ve read blogs before about being single on days like today, but they’ve always been SO cookie cutter. I’ve always wanted to write a post about being single that doesn’t want to make you chuck your phone across the room. SO here are 4 things to remember on Valentine’s day (non-phone-chucking edition):

  1. You are so daringly beautiful.

Ok so this one sounds super cheesy and like one of those points you’d find on one of those blogs I was referring to, but please soak this in. This is vital on days like today.

Don’t ever let anyone else tell you anything different. Just because you are not in a relationship on February 14th does not mean that something is wrong with you. For so long, I believed this lie. Even if I said I didn’t, in the back of my mind, I always asked what was wrong. What was it that made every boy look at me and walk away? But when I finally realized that there was nothing wrong with me, it was a game changer. I was able to walk in my singleness with confidence.

2. God is protecting your heart.

When I finally understood this, I realized the answer to the question. What’s wrong with me? Absolutely nothing. The whole reason that boys looked at me and kept on walking was because God was protecting me.

I watched a movie recently where this girl was SO discouraged because no guy ever wanted to date her. FINALLY a boy asked her out, only to stand her up. She was distraught. Then said boy admitted that the reason he stood her up and the reason that no other guy had asked her out wasn’t because she was ugly or had something wrong with her (which she believed), but it was because another guy had threatened all of their lives in order to protect her (all of the guys who wanted to ask her out were bad news).

At first she raged with anger, but then she thought about how thankful she was to be protected. It’s the same way with God. You may even be upset with Him at first when you realize why you’re single on Valentine’s Day, but eventually you’ll realize what a beautiful thing He’s doing.

3. This is not wasted time.

Before you blow over this one, hear me out. I’m not going to go into the “singleness is a gift” conversation. It is a gift, but most of the time it’s married people writing that conversation (and 99% of the time I believe they have forgotten what being single was like). But as someone who is single and is tired of hearing that conversation, here I am telling you that this isn’t wasted time. God convicts me of this on a pretty regular basis. I see all of these great things that people implement in their marriage/family life and I’m like, “woah! I wanna do that!”, but it wasn’t until about a year ago that I realized that I need to be implementing those things now.

Prime example: I was listening to lots of podcasts about Sabbath and how each person was implementing that into their marriage or new family life. And I wrote that down as something I want to implement one day when God asked me why I couldn’t implement that right now. I’m sure I had a great argument (arguing with the creator of the universe is always quality), but He responded by telling me that the habits I create now are the ones that will carry over into my marriage/future family life.

Yes, it’s very cool how it is with their families now, but how much cooler would it be if I started that practice now and instead of being a beginner learning the ropes of it when I’m married, I was a pro at it. How much more beautiful would my future marriage be? Don’t wait. Practice now.

4. Getting married won’t take away your insecurities.

Obviously I’m not married so I can only speak so much on this subject, but from what I understand, getting married only magnifies your insecurities. WOO!

Sometimes we can fall into this trap of thinking that getting married means someone complimenting you 24/7 and feeling those gaping holes left by insecurities, but that’s not the case.

Someone once told me one time about how she made it a mission to spend lots of time with Jesus, allowing Him to speak into those insecurities so that her husband didn’t have to. She said that when she stopped leaning into her husband to fix her insecurities and allowed Jesus to do that for her, her marriage wasn’t strained anymore. She wasn’t going to him for approval and confidence because she was doing that with the Lord, so by the time she got to hang out with her husband, hanging out with him was just FUN.

I love that! That is something that I can practice as a single person NOW. Teaching myself to rely on what the Lord says about me and asking Him to fill those gaps caused by insecurities rather than going to someone else seeking attention. This is a big one. One that takes lots of practice.

But how cool would it be to bring that kind of confidence in Jesus into your marriage?!

I’m proud of you. Proud of you for being strong, proud of you for knowing your worth, and proud of you for not burning down all of the local flower shops.

Spend some time with Holy Spirit this Valentines Day. At the risk of sound spiritually cheesy, He really is the perfect date. Don’t just take my word for it.

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