"Protect me as the most precious part of the eye; hide me under the shadow of your wings." -Psalms 17:8
Hide and seek is arguably the best game on this planet. I am unashamed to announce to the entire world wide web that I am 21 years old and still can’t turn down a good game of hide and seek. I love it so much that I recently taught my dog how to play it with me… best idea ever. I love the mystery of finding a place to hide and the thrill of hearing footsteps go by, wondering if the seeker will ever find me.
I recently realized how my life has turned into one big game of hide and go seek. Seriously.I recently realized how my life has turned into one big game of hide and go seek. Seriously. Click To Tweet
*Read the remainder of this post with caution as we are about to get real up close and personal with each other*
As mentioned before, I am 21 years old. What was not mentioned before is that in my 21 years of life, I have not been in one relationship.
I know what you’re thinking, “do those kind of people still exist?”, “are you like interested in getting married?”, “do you have some disgusting habit that just really turns people off?”, etc. My answers to those questions would be: I guess so, yes, and I hope not?
Let me give you some background information. Just like every young girl, I’ve always dreamed of growing up, falling in love, getting married, having kids, and living happily ever after. However, unlike some other girls, I was fortunate enough to have had people pouring into me my entire life, reminding me of my worth and telling me to never lower my standards for any boy. Although there were definitely times that I got tired of hearing this, I’ve stayed committed to it.
At a young age, I decided to ask God to protect my heart, to hide it from any potential mate who was not the right one. I asked him to keep it hidden until His perfect timing comes, along with His perfect mate for me. And so far? He’s been faithful.
Just as in the game hide and seek, I have searched for the best hiding spot. Don’t get me wrong, it was tempting to hide it in other boys, friendships, my identity, etc., but I overlooked them and found the ultimate hiding spot.
It hasn’t always been an easy decision.
There were many times when I was a kid that I would play hide and go seek and get concerned after so long. At first, it would be thrilling and invigorating, but 30 minutes later, I would grow concerned that my hiding spot was just so good that they ended the hunt and left me hiding, alone.
Not much has changed with my mindset. There have been times where I have felt like I have hidden my heart so well that no one will ever be interested or no one will ever live up to my standards, and there I would be, hiding in my perfect hiding spot. Alone.
There was one particular season that I was really struggling with this. I was surrounded by friends that were either married, dating, or single and being asked out every other day. Meanwhile, I was living my life as none of the above.
During this season, I was throwing daily pity parties to God. I think He was tired of me not being thankful for His hiding spot, because He threw an interruption in my regularly scheduled programming.
Not long after one of my pity parties, I got a text out of the blue from a guy letting me know he had a crush on me.
The next day? Another guy (also out of the blue) asked a friend for my number in order to ask me out on a date.
By day 3, I was already over it. I didn’t enjoy this kind of attention. I was also confused as to why this all came out of nowhere.
I heard advice from others saying things such as, “well this is what you wanted”, “you are 21 years old, you gotta put yourself out there”, and “maybe you should date around for a little while”. While all of these statements came out of genuine places in their heart and were said with the best intentions, I knew that God was speaking something different to my heart.
When I finally decided to pray about it, God told me that both of these events happened because He momentarily exposed my heart from His hidden place and lowered the protection around my heart to prove to me that the reason that I’ve not been pursued isn’t for any negative reason that I would think. It wasn’t because I am ugly or unworthy or unlovable, but it was because He was doing what I had asked Him to do long ago. He was protecting and hiding my heart until the right moment.It wasn't because I am ugly or unworthy or unlovable, but it was because He was doing what I had asked Him to do long ago. He was protecting and hiding my heart until the right moment. Click To Tweet
At that moment, the devil’s lies no longer had any power over me. Every doubt he had created in my mind was broken. I hadn’t been found because my hiding spot was so good that only the best seeker would find it.
It is true, some of the seekers may give up after 30 minutes of looking for my perfect hiding place, but all that matters is that the one that God wants to find me doesn’t give up. I could care less if after I’m found, I find the others hanging out with each other on the couch. All that matters is that I stay in my hiding spot until the moment is right and the seeker is relentless.
And if I were guessing, I think God will give some hints towards my hiding place to the one who searches hard enough.
It can be easy to lose that feeling of wonder, thrill, and adventure the longer that I’m in the hiding spot, but I know that there is a peace that develops here over time. Peace that I’m where I’m supposed to be, peace that there is purpose in my hiding, and peace that I have a calling in my hidden season as well as my found season.
If you are single, let me personally recommend asking God to hide your heart for you. Let me also recommend that you never lower your standards, because God has placed those desires and standards in your heart for a purpose. He wants to grant each of those desires in the right time, with the right person.
If you are no longer single but are around others who are, let me remind you about how I talked about the influence that others had on my life by reminding me to keep my standards high. Be that person. Don’t push the envelope so hard that it grows annoying, but be that constant reminder that they have such a high value to God and to you. When you do, they will feel as though they deserve those standards (and they do).
I do consider myself a hide and seek champion at this point. 21 years and my hiding spot has still yet to be discovered. And you know what’s great about it? Even if I’m in hiding for another 21 years, I no longer have that fear of being left alone. I have the greatest companion with me in my corner.
Just as hiding in a corner with your best friend while someone else seeked was more comforting and fun than when you hid by yourself, I’m having such a great time getting to know Jesus a little better in the silence. I recognize that I will never get this season back once I am found, so I have made the decision to embrace it. To put my undivided attention on my Savior and learn His heart more and more every day.
3…2…1…ready or not, here he comes!