Why is it that we, as girls, feel like we must compete?
*News flash* this is not a competition
"She is community, she is not competition"
How beautiful would this world be if we stopped seeing our differences as competition and started seeing them as compliments to one another? We are not meant to compare our every feature and personality trait to another. We were meant to embrace our flaws and welcome other’s compliments. Just as we are meant to stand in each other’s weaknesses.
A pink flamingo and a peacock are both beautiful birds. They both have such unique traits that make them the beautiful creatures that they are. We often see both of these animals at the zoo and take in how amazing they both appear. They are both birds, but that’s where the similarities stop.
Imagine if the flamingo and peacock behaved the way that we do: The peacock, once clothed in confidence, now questions her beauty because her legs aren’t so long and skinny, she lacks the pretty pink tint her friends have, and she is unable to stand on one leg for hours on end. The pink flamingo now doubts her beauty as she watches from a distant because she lacks such vibrant colors, her feathers aren’t as full, and she doesn’t display such boldness.
If they continued on the same path that many of us do, the peacock would start an extreme diet/exercise routine to get the same skinny legs the flamingo has, would start eating pounds of shrimp a day to get that pretty pink tint, and exhaust herself as she tries to stand on one leg for hours. Chances are, the peacock would end up looking like the most pitiful, ugly peacock around because she was trying to transform herself into something she’s not. Her desire to be something she’s not would destroy the beauty that is already radiating from her.
Now I know that example is a little far fetched, but it is essentially what we are doing to our brains. We know that we are different from each girl we come into contact with. We recognize that, but instead of allowing ourselves to find beauty in the differences, we find competition.Instead of allowing ourselves to find beauty in the differences, we find competition. Click To Tweet
Just as the two birds, we are all humans, but often times, that’s where the similarities stop. One of us may be a 5’2 girl with black hair, curvy body, and green eyes while another one of us may be a 5’9 girl with blonde hair, long legs, and blue eyes. Just because we recognize another girl’s beauty does not mean that it takes away any of our own beauty.Just because we recognize another girl's beauty does not mean that it takes away any of our own beauty. Click To Tweet
Contradictory to what you may have been told, her beauty does not threaten yours. That would be like saying that because the sun is shining on me, there isn’t enough sun to shine on you. It doesn’t make any logical sense.
God didn’t give her beautiful features and say “welp I gave away 2/3 of my beauty allowance today, I guess when I make Mariah I’ll have to only give her a couple of drops!”
We think that sounds so ignorant, but that’s how our brains work majority of the time!
"Girls compete with one another, women empower each other."
This has been one of my favorite quotes for years. The first time I heard it, it resonated in a place deep within my heart that I didn’t even know was there. It set in my heart a passion for women to see each other as sisters who are meant to empower one another.
I realized how sick and tired I am of women degrading one another because they see each other as competition. How are we ever supposed to live in the calling that was made specially for us if we are stuck trying to live in the light of someone else?
Our differences aren’t disasters. Just like a puzzle would never be complete if every puzzle piece looked the exact same way, our differences complete each other. Each of us are a jagged puzzle piece that are meant to fit in the strengths and weaknesses of other puzzle pieces (sisters) in order to come together and create one big, beautiful puzzle of sisterhood.
We should spend our time speaking words of life over one another rather than speaking death over ourselves. We should spend time calling out the beautiful qualities in one another rather than calling out the flaws in ourselves. That’s when you begin to recognize your own beauty.
Stop comparing and start embracing because her beauty doesn’t take away from yours… it adds.